Are you in a cult?

I fancied myself "alternative" in high school. This was the early 90's, so think grunge mixed with punk. My usual outfit consisted of my Catholic school skirt cut at the hem and then restapled to an alarming length, over the knee socks and doc martens sharpied with a variety of anti-establishment slogans, and a leather biker jacket that was stocked with Marlboro reds and a zippo lighter. I wanted more piercings so I found a mall store that was unconcerned with things such as parental consent. I was able to fit four piercings on each ear. I proudly adorned my ears with such earrings as crosses, dragons, and silver hoops. My father focused on the earrings and asked me with all seriousness..."Are you in a cult?" Yes, Dad. I'm in a cult that demands multiple ear piercings by its members.

What kind of swimsuit would the Virgin Mary wear?

One day, when I was about ten years old with no body to speak of, I decided to work on my tan in the backyard. My swimsuit was a hot pink one piece with bows on the side. My father was working in the garden as always. He looked pained and asked me if I thought the Virgin Mary would wear a swimsuit like that. I was ordered to change. I went inside and told my Bibi what my dad said. She swore in Arabic, crossed herself, and was horrified at the suggestion that the Virgin Mary would even wear a swimsuit.