Is Swimming Gay?

Since I spend the majority of my summer at the local pool, shepherding children to and fro swim practice, I've become familiar with some competitive swim practices. These include speedos and shaving. The technicalities have been explained to me, drag and physics and thousandths of seconds and what have you, however when shaving becomes a social event, I have to wonder: Is swimming a gay sport?

Wanting to get to the bottom of this mystery, I did some googling. Verdict: Swimming is not a gay sport. Group shaving is definitely straight, or at least bi. However, soccer is queer as all get out. Truthfully, I'd heard rumors, soccer being very European and all, but I wasn't convinced. I guess I was the last to know, even though the signs were there, just like my high school boyfriend. I am glad to know that each time I cut oranges into quarters and gossip about families who forgot snack last week, I'm actually a civil rights crusader.

For more information on soccer's gayness, please see the Onion.

http://www.theonion.com/video/soccer-officially-announces-it-is-gay,17603/